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Deer In The Headlights

by First of Three

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Alan Zimmerman
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1.
I'd Feel Fine 03:22
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Time ran short, and I stood tall. I saw the world, I saw it all. Songs, they fail, and words fall short When you stand above the world. And if the Earth were new, We’d swing from the vines. I’d be yours, And you’d be mine. If the ground were soft, We’d till the earth, Find and claim All points of worth. I was young, I thought I knew, What to say, and what to do. You were young, and always found, Peace in bugs that crawled the ground. And if the Earth were new, We’d swing from the vines. I’d be yours, And you’d be mine. If the stars dissolved, In cups of wine, On the sky, We’d sip and dine. Time was young, but we grew old. Wars were fought, and love was sold. Time ran old, but we were young, Closed our eyes, songs left unsung. And if the Earth were old, We’d build it up once more. Cities of dust, On ocean floors. And if we boldly go, Along the line. You’d feel good, And I’d feel fine. You’d feel good, And I’d feel fine.
2.
Ravens In The Rafters 02:24
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Do you ever find it strange, The sound of falling rain? Thunder in the background, rumbling deep. Radio static lulls the world to sleep. And all the ravens in the rafters crying why, why why? I wish I knew. But I’ve got bats up in my belfry, and a pocket full of stones. Postage stamps, picture frames, and a closet full of bones. Dancing without rhythm to a nameless tune, Spinning round in circles underneath a violet moon. And all the ravens in the rafters crying why, why, why? I wish I knew. But the only words that come to mind are bye, bye, bye. I’ll see you soon. But there’s waterfalls of wisdom Behind our every bruise. Stars beneath the soles of our shoes, There’s secrets on my bookshelf, And plans atop my desk, Bits of paper by my bedside, And strangers in my nest. And all the ravens in the rafters crying why, Oh, why?
3.
I Didn't Know Anything At All 02:08
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Once I thought I knew the world, Shaped the silence with my words, But I didn’t know a thing at all. There were times I’d sing my songs, And tell myself I’m never wrong But I didn’t know a thing at all. All the tools were in my hands, But I wasn’t smart enough to use ‘em. The words I thought I would understand, The best that I could do was abuse them. I thought I was worth the time, But I was deaf and numb and blind, ‘Cuz I wasn’t worth anything at all. I thought there was nothing worse, Than melting away within remorse, But I wasn’t worth anything at all. All the tools were in my hands, But I wasn’t smart enough to use ‘em. The words I thought I would understand, The best that I could do was abuse them. I thought I was floating there, But all I did was tread the air, ‘Cuz I didn’t go anywhere at all. I knew my way around the block, Moved my feet and walked the walk, But I didn’t go anywhere at all. There were times I’d sit and say, “Wow, I had a productive day,” But I didn’t do anything at all. As head and shoulders, hand in hand, We walk the seas and swim through land, But we don’t know anything at all. All the tools were in our hands, But we weren't smart enough to use ‘em. The words we thought we would understand, The best that we could do was abuse them. [Whistling]
4.
Waterfall Woman 01:58
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Waterfall woman, wash over me. I'll break down your dams if you'll just set me free. Snow from the mountaintops melts into light, Estuaries flooded with glittering life. Though I can't swim, I sink in your seas with a grin. With you, my alphabet goes, only from H2O. Sunrise woman, shine down on me. I bathed in the moonlight, and now I am clean. Usher the stars to their daytime abode, While you paint my mornings in crimson and gold. We danced so high, pirouettes into the sky. The stars seem brighter to me as they spin away under our feet. Thunderstorm woman, shocking to see, The sound of your claps makes me weak in the knees. Counting the seconds from flashing to boom, So I can know if you’ll be coming here soon. You rage and rant, but I know you’re still worth a chance. It’s all to hide, how kind you are deep down inside.
5.
Toothless 02:07
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The kids are crazy, day by day. Seems the city fades away. Never really knew, never really cared. Never asked when, never wondered where. Pine away for your golden days, They never happened anyway. But what’s there to say? I stand my ground, but I can’t fight. I kick and scream, but I don’t bite. It’s like I’m toothless. So someone tell me how to measure The merits of your options, whether, You choose to fight, or you choose to talk. You try to run, or you only walk. To yourself you mutter “never,” Try to pretend it’s not forever. But what’s there to say? What’s there to say, That you’ve never heard before? Subtle hints of silence stir In every stumbling word. What’s there to say, That’s not been said by someone else? Should I pretend that I’m not talking to myself? I stand my ground, but I can’t fight. I kick and scream, but I don’t bite. It’s like I’m toothless. You pull at strings, but you’ve no stance. I stand and swing, but I’ve no chance. ‘Cuz you’re ruthless.
6.
Take A Pause (Interlude) 02:50
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Take a pause, take a break, Take a minute, take a day, Feel free to take all the time you need, ‘Cuz the bill’s coming due, In a theater near you, So stay here, where we can find you with ease. I’m here for our debts, And I aim to collect, But I don’t need to use any force, I only need Leave you at your own mercy, For nothing I do could be worse. Stay a day, stay a year, But you better not stay here, Where we all know your face and your faults. ‘Cuz the clock’s moving forward Of its own accord, And not a thing that you do makes it halt. As you stood there grinnin’, ‘Cuz you thought that you were winnin’, ‘Till the losers came around for round two. So as you shiver and you shake, Take stock of your mistakes. They’re all that will be left to you. Just inhale, take a breath, Let it fill up your chest, Your head was swimming, now it’s treading water. And you know in your core, You should walk out the door, Just like everybody here says you oughta. On your way out, you see mirror, You look, and hope you’ll differ, From the past, but you see, ashamed, That there’s not a way That you’ve even changed, From top to bottom, you’re still the same.
7.
Still Here 02:16
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From preschool to the modern day, I feel I never came of age. All the years I threw away, To preserve my youthful naivete. Thinking of the life I could have tasted, Makes me feel my time was wasted. And though I wish I weren’t, I’m still standing. And though I wish I weren’t, I’m still here. Moved out from my parent’s home, Brought my cat, guitar, and comb, Looked around and settled down On the other side of town. But all I’ve gained from striking out on my own, Is when I need support, I’m all alone. And though I wish I weren’t, I’m still standing. And though I wish I weren’t, I’m still here. All I do is all I know, And how I wish to make it so I change the wirings of my mind, And ideally chance to find, That past the screams and scarred-up arms, Is a man to whom I’d do no harm, But I doubt I’ll make it so, Since all I do is all I know. And I know I wish I weren’t, but I’m still standing. I know I wish I weren’t, but I’m still here. Though I’m always fumbling, I’m still standing. And despite my best attempts, I’m still here.
8.
Apartment 305 02:15
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I've been your neighbor For about a year. Since I moved to the apartment next to yours, Though I doubt you know I'm here. I'm the guy who plays his records Late into the night. But I always keep the volume low, So I figure it's alright. And I wish I had the nerve To meet you eye to eye. 'Cuz you're the blond-haired bombshell In Apartment 305. I promise I'm not a weirdo, Though I guess weirdos say that too. But I promise that I'll promise That my promises are true. And I'm certain that you'd love it If I came into your life. But I've gotta break the ice soon, Or summer won't arrive. So I hope this song convinces you To meet me eye to eye. 'Cuz you're the brown-haired bombshell In Apartment 305. Or... wait a minute... was it blonde or brown haired? Well... Alright, I'll admit it: I've never seen your face. Though if I ever grow a pair, That'll cease to be the case. I'm reasonably sure that you have hair Though the color I don't know. But there's only one way to find that out, So to your door I go. And I'm glad I found the chutzpah To meet you eye to eye. You're the bombshell with ambiguously-colored hair In Apartment 305. You've opened up the door, And now I see your hair is brown. But it turns out you're a guy, Which kinda... flipped the script around. But hey, I'm not that picky, And you're still pretty hot. And I've got tickets to a movie tonight, So hey, I'll tell you what: Let's you and I go out, We'll have the best night of our lives. 'Cuz you're the muscular Adonis In Apartment 305.
9.
Force Of Nature 02:00
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I’m more man than machine, I’m a force of nature. Left to right, up and down, my eyes see no danger. Glasses of wine, a boiling sea, A bird in the tree means nothing to me. I’m more bullet than blade, I’m a living weapon. I’m more friend than foe, known for my affection. A man made of clay, but no one shapes me, Fate runs away but can’t escape me. Shadows in the distance, spelling out my name. Don’t recognize the voices, but the message stays the same. I’m more shades of grey, I’m a born enigma, Symbol in the sky, I sport no insignia. Man in a mask, but you all know me, What’s new to me that you can show me? Shadows in the distance, spelling out my name. Don’t recognize the voices, but the message stays the same. Lion in my eyes, tracking through the wilds. Nothing grabs my sight , vision undefiled. See through your lies and all your fiction, Picking apart your crumbling diction.
10.
It Was All A Blur 02:17
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It was all a blur, Minutes into hours As the days fade. Soldiers in the war. White and azure flowers Where the wind plays. And I met you, And you met me. We only had a few days, But that's all we need. It was all a rush. Learned another language As we exchanged words. But onward we pushed, Too much life to manage As we move forward. And I spoke to you. And you spoke to me. We only had a few days, But that's all we need. As we cram a thousand hours Into the space of a minute. Wandering through time As we try to find our place in it. But isn't the fun Of not knowing where you stand Partly found in Not knowing where you'll land? Gone with the wind. Singing by the fire In the nighttime. Managed to fit in, Loyalty trumping liars In the daytime. And I know you. And you know me. We only had a few days, But that's all we would need.
11.
My Last Night 00:37
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On my last night, I drove down to the tracks. Hoped to catch the evening train On its journey back. I took my foot up from the gas, And put the car in park. And the evening train, It caught me in the dark.
12.
Deer In The Headlights 02:16
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Handful of bottles and empty bravado, And lonely Friday nights Find you broken, you’ve spoken, and nobody knows when, You arrived. Like a deer in the headlights, rooted there in fright. Just a normal weekday night. You’d give in to sorrow, but there’s work tomorrow, And the days still come and go. If you take a break, it seems fake and you’ll only make Trouble, but you know, Like a man trying to hold a river, you let it all slip by. Makes you wonder why you try. Coughed up pills and scribbled wills, And the dark vacuum of space. Roses grow between your toes And ashes on your face. Rain and snow and sunshine, out of place. So what’s there if you care to make fair your own share, What’s chosen, what can you choose? Don’t speak, the thoughts leak, you’re so strange, a true freak, With worthless worlds to lose. Like a well-worn pair of boots, it seems you’re always tread upon. But if it helps, you’re not the only one.

about

It's been a little under a year since my debut album as First Of Three, and I've been fortunate enough to have spent a year dense with experiences. Many positive, many negative, but every single one worthwhile. As "Deer In The Headlights" came together, I aimed to capture the emotional variety of my past year in a musical form, and have some fun along the way.

Of special note: the creation of the song "It Was All A Blur" began on a trip overseas as I sang with friends by a bonfire, and I aimed to recapture that "camp-out" sound with campfire sound effects. "Apartment 305" is a song I wrote years ago, and remains one of my favorite of my songs. "My Last Night" came out of a personal challenge to try and tell a depressing story in as short a song as possible.

My friends and family have offered me an immense degree of support throughout this year, and my many years preceding. I'm truly fortunate to be surrounded by amazing people in my life, and were it not for them, "Deer In The Headlights" may have never come to fruition.

This album is dedicated to Jerome Zimmerman.

credits

released February 2, 2018

Raven sound effects on "Ravens In The Rafters" are from the National Parks Service.
Campfire sound effects on "It Was All A Blur" are from Freesounds user Spandau.

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First of Three Charlottesville, Virginia

There's no problem that can't be solved by a guitar, with the exception of almost every problem.

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